Sermon for St. Frank Miller’s Day

December 12, 2011 § Leave a comment

IT IS WRITTEN:

Everybody’s been too damn polite about this nonsense

The “humans”, whether displaying themselves on our TeeVee sets or in the streets of our cities, (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced them) are anything but an asset to the Church of the SubGenius. “Humans” are nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Victorian-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm the Church.

“Humanity” is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at sapience, to the extent that the “people” – HAH! Some “people”, except if the word “sheep” is attached – is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled apes who should stop getting in the way of true sapient life on this planet and finding a slice of slack for themselves.

This is no real striving for evolutionary greatness. This is garbage. And goodness knows they’re spewing their garbage – both politically and physically – every which way they can find.

Wake up, pond scum. The Earth is at war against a ruthless enemy.

Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you’ve been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you’ve heard terms like “the Conspiracy” and “Slacklessness”.

And these enemies of ours – not of yours, apparently – must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh – out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.

In the name of decency, go home to your shoddily constructed tree nests, you losers. Go back to your monkey mommas’ saggy tits and play with your feces.

Or better yet, dig out 35 dollars and enlist for the real deal. Maybe our profit “Bob” could whip some of you into shape.

They might make you babies replace your iPhones with something open source and Unix-based, though. Try to soldier on.

Schmucks.

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