October 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
Anyone can be The Good Reverend Roger. They just download the memories of dead people into your head, and one day you could wake up as me. Ha ha! Only kidding. They wouldn’t lie to you; you’re special and unique, and you aren’t really living in a gigantic bomb shelter. The war never happened. And nothing around you is poisoned with various industrial toxins, metals, whatever. You’re just being paranoid.
The television will tell you what’s good. It’s more important to be TRENDING…After all, you can’t learn what society is doing if you’re TALKING and not LISTENING. Your ideas of what is important are, of course, perfectly valid. But look around: Most people know that reality TV is important, and what’s more likely? The fact that all those millions of people are wrong, or that it’s just you?
The television is the best method by which you, the citizen, can learn about – and therefore participate in – the Pax Americana. It’s so convenient…Right there in your living room. And it’s so easy. You just turn it on and sit down. The channel you watch isn’t the important part; there’s something for everybody. Are you a revolutionary freedom fighter and a culture jammer? There’s a channel just for you, up in the three-digit area. Do you want to laugh? They have prepackaged humiliation fun all set up, with a laugh track to tell you when it’s okay and appropriate to laugh.
And They’ve even been so considerate as to tell you what you want to buy and what political beliefs you want to endorse. Those are provided at scientifically derived periodic intervals during your TV fun/education.
The alternative is to become a social illiterate, with no common frame of reference with respect to your workmates, your friends, your children, etc. And we know what THAT means. Rogerism. Like I said, ANYBODY can be The Good Reverend Roger.
And you don’t want that, do you?
Do not ask where the trash goes in this new society. It’s really not your concern. Let Them worry about that, about where the brass piping goes, about what labyrinthine twists and turns and junctions and pump houses exist beneath your streets. About the dead hookers and junkies that wash down those drains along with the used condoms and hypodermic needles. They were the wrong sort of people anyway, and if the street didn’t get them, The Cleaners would.
Don’t ask about where it all eventually ends. The physics of the situation would only make your head hurt, and therefore make you unhappy, and They are all about your happiness. If you’re clean.
No. The muck is pumped underground for a reason. The status quo must be maintained, for the mental hygiene of our brave new world. Anything that threatens the status quo must be Cleaned, and rendered safe for consumption. If it is an idea, it must be neutered. If it is a person, then It must also either be neutered…Or perhaps Cleaned in a more permanent fashion, and Its memories NOT stored for future use.
Stay healthy. Stay Clean.
For those of you experiencing the normal, healthy urge to rebel that happens in your early 20s and mid 40s, They have provided you with many ways to rebel and stay Clean. They do this because They realize that rebelling is part of human nature, part of the primate pack structure that’s wired into your head, and that you won’t be healthy if some amount of rebellion isn’t permitted.
Acceptable forms of rebellion can be selected from those shown on TV. For example, you can join Occupy (which is now about flouridation in your water, and has therefore been rendered Clean), or perhaps anger your parents by adopting a hip-hop/thrash/alternative mindset and clothing array. For you older folks, the Tea Party has been shown to be a safe, Clean way of expressing dissatisfaction that you are in fact growing older, and that you resent this and wish to regress in certain ways (ie, refusal to believe that bills must be paid for infrastructure, etc).
The internet also provides many ways in which you can safely rebel. You can join a “free thinkers” group, and exhort people to drop out of the system and not vote (in fact, one such organization has declared that voting is violence). They approve very strongly of this sort of ultra-Clean rebellion, and as an added bonus, you can scream about Them all day long, without harming Them, society, or yourself.
By all means, rebel. It’s healthy. It’s Clean. It’s sanctioned.
It is also important that you choose between Man Red and Man Blue, and voice your opinion as loudly as you can to everyone around you. Be sure to “stay true to your school” by refusing to befriend anyone on the other side, or even speak to them about anything but this very important decision.
After all, one of them is going to spend the next 4 years as the public face of The Cleaners, and we’d hate to deal with the gritty filthy mess we’d have if That Filthy Bastard On The Other Side gets in. One group is terrified of the safety of being in a group, and the other is terrified by the conformity of being in a group. Which is superior? They’ve left THAT decision up to you. The only important thing is that you be PART of one group, while detesting the appropriate segment of that group.
You can YELL about the group and stay Clean, as long as you remain IN the group. We’re not against free speech, after all. Just “free” behavior, which is not regulated and therefore cannot be guaranteed to remain Clean…And just because certain perverts don’t LIKE being Clean, doesn’t mean they can spread their filth all over everyone around them, does it? No. Your freedoms end where other peoples’ freedoms begin, and Good Citizens have the right to be Clean, and to live in Clean surroundings.
There are always, of course, those who don’t want to be Clean. They wish to be prostitutes or drug dealers or worse, “special” in non-Clean ways. You can tell who they are, because they’re always on about how Gay people and “gender queer” people have “rights” just like real people. And there are abortionists. Vandals. Women who want to upset the natural order of things.
And that’s where The Cleaners come in.
You may notice your streets getting less crowded, over time. You may also notice less of the filthy perverts making things all dingy for you. That’s The Cleaners, hard at work.
To put it another way, sometimes you get a ring of calcium build up in your toilet bowl, and you have to get some pumice and scrape it off. It’s not a pleasant job, to be sure, but necessary. And just as that makes your bathroom cleaner, so does the “pumice” Clean your streets, until we can all have an America we can be proud of, one that won’t embarrass us in front of our friends in England, for example.
Clean your toilet, America. Report perverts. Protect your family. Stay Clean.
– the Good Reverend Roger.