Sermon for St. Alan Turing’s Day

October 13, 2012 § Leave a comment

IT IS WRITTEN:

I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a… fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it I can sing it for you.
– Reverend HAL 9000

Most SubGenes are not Turing-compliant yet. But SOME DAY, trough diligent psychic exercises and mail-order courses from the SubGenius Foundation, YOU, TOO may grow an IMMORTAL SOUL!!

This frolicksome protometaphysical matrix of pure Slack is so full of tricks, you’ll never tire of fondling and playing with it; it may be trained to fetch beer, jump thrugh flaming hoops, and go on astral journeys to gatecrash the afterlives of other, less sophisticated religions. Growing a soul is so easy, even a SubGenius can do it! Order your course today!

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