On the Supreme Method of the Forbidden Sciences
February 19, 2014 § Leave a comment
My name is Reverend Bork.
By occupation I am a doktor. As of last X-Day, I am a Doktor of Forbidden Science, by which I desuprasumalize my nental health solely by J. R. “Bob” Dobbs’ spiritual methods, gladly sharing my knowledge with those who seek it out.
My UTTER conviction in the effectiveness of the methods laid out by J. R. “Bob” Dobbs to control both my health, seemingly “random” events in my life, and the VERY STUFF OF REALITY ITSELF came about as I developed an understanding of how reality, in which most of us believe we live, is formed. It came to me as a result of my in-depth study of J. R. “Bob” Dobbs’ mail order courses and the radio ministry of His Church.
Now I finally understand that diseases as such do in actual fact not exist. They are as illusory as is the solidity of human bodies, comprised of “atoms” which are in themselves more like complex tangles of slacklessness rather than solid physical matter. That is, human bodies are virtually vibrational structures, pure snarled-up spiritual fucked-upness, a desinformational substance converted into matter, the substance which is the base of physical “reality”, through which Slack flows, impeded or freely according to an individual’s alignment with the Luck Plane. Health problems are simply the a cosmic constipation, the blocking of the flow of sweet, life-giving Slack in certain regions of the physical body.* J. R. “Bob” Dobbs’ unique methods enable the Slack flows to be pasteurized prior to being condensed and coming into contact with slackless physical matter, which means that with proper spiritual practice the body of every SubGenius can always be formed Slackful as well as Eternal.
All is welcome into Eternal, Slackful and happy life, made accessible to us by the Great Scientist – J. R. “Bob” Dobbs.
*Slack may occasionally flow into this physical universe in the form of paramedics bearing injectable opiates. This is an immaterial objection to the validity of the Forbidden Method of the Great Scientist, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.