The Second Sermon to the Lemurs

October 7, 2014 § Leave a comment


Okay. I see we’re going to have to use simple words, here.

LOOK! No, not the finger, where I’m pointing. There. Smoking thing. Smiling face. Caaaaalm. Yes?

You may think you’re normal. Normal, like those other people. The people who laughed at you then called the police when you told them about your box full of pretty skin pictures you found.

Smoking Face Man is here to fix that. He will make the normals go away. All you need to do is give him your money.

No, they won’t go away right away. Calm down.

See, Smoking Face Man has made a deal. It is a very different deal. It is different because it was made with people from space, who are not like us. For one thing, they know how to skin and eat a world like a really big round live screaming pig made out of very hot rock. Once they arrive, they are probably going to do that anyway. But if you pay Smoking Face Man, he promises that he will get you off this rock before it’s too late. Isn’t that nice?

Yes, we know you think you’re just a lot of no good animals stuck in a forgotten crack in the rocks, getting picked on by all the rest of the animals. You are the little lemurs, the half-monkey-half-rats who come out at night when you think no one can see you, blinking your great big fear-making eyes in the grey dark, because the world is full of little bears who think they are big bears and wants to eat you.

But with the help of Smoking Face Man you can find out how much more you are.

Because you are like NOTHING to them. You’re TOO WEIRD TO BE.

There is not as much to you as there is to THEM because YOU are not all stuffed with bat shit.

You can never think more good than THEM. After all, you’re TOO STUPID TO DIE.

You can’t ever imagine yourself better than THEM, because you are busy imagining things like their little bear brains can’t even get close to thinking without catching fire and going all over the floor.

You won’t ever be able to know more things than THEM because their THINGS are without any use to you except to make your imagining turn over.

You can’t ever be more than THEM because THEY are busy becoming the only animal left in the world.

You HAVE NO USE because you were not MADE for the things they want to use you FOR.

You can’t laugh at them, because THEY aren’t the funny ones.


And don’t try to tell them any of this because they won’t learn a thing from it.


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